April 20, 2010

Ode to Lost

Okay, I know I have issues, but after rewatching every episode of Lost in the past month, I wanted something to show for it. If you have never seen the show, you'll probably want to ignore the rest of this post. But if you're a Lost fan, this is my gift to you.

Hit play on the video. As Billy Joel sings "We Didn't Start the Fire," follow along with my Lost version. It really helps if you get in sync with the beat and actually sing along out loud.

Without further ado, I present, "Jin Didn't Start the Fire."



Fifty strangers crashed one day, Ben Linus made them stay
South Pacific, arctic circle, where did they go?
Jack's the hero, always fixin', Ford's the bad boy, Kate's a vixen
Jin and Sun are from Korea, Frenchy named Rousseau

Dharma's purged, H-bomb, time pandemonium
Mikhail's only got one eye, and why can't he ever die?
Radio tower, vaccine, Charlie's in another scene
Mercenaries, Libby's crazy, Sayonara goodbye!

We didn't trust the writers
They were always scheming
Was it Hurley dreaming?
We didn't trust the writers
Is it purgatory?
What a crazy story

Boone's plane fallin', Locke is bald, progress on the hatch is stalled
Shannon's stellar, Boone is jealous, Sayid cockblocks
Locke's wrong, Desmond's gone, push the button, ping pong
Making distress calls, sub around the dock

Boone's paste, Locke's dreams, who the hell is Eloise?
Daniel's rocket, Miles' scam, Charlotte's found her homeland
Two pilots, who's the best, Norris or Lapidus?
Desmond's race, what's this place, trouble with the polar bears!

Lindenhof conspires.
Too many red herrings
We can't get our bearings
Lindenhof conspires
So why was Walt all wet?
We're not gonna forget

Black Rock, Mr. Paik, Smokie Monster, Michael's back
Rope belts, Man in Black, Why didn't Sayid die?
MacCutcheon, Charles Widmore, Dogen drops his baseball
Bad weather, homicide, children's mothers always died

Eko's folly, Ben's girl, rocker junkie, Nadia
Hurley's bird, Hanso, first raft's a no-go
Raft two, they are free, shark in water scares me
Chubby Hurley, Walt grows, whispers in the jungle

Jin didn't start the fire
Pretty sure it was Walt
Or was John Locke at fault?
Jin didn't start the fire
Walt finally confessed
Keamy's bullet-proof vest

Tom is gay, Chang's hand, stranger in a strange land
Shootin', Killin', here comes the invasion
Jacob's touch heals Ilana, British DriveShaftmania
Kate's horse, Vincent, Claire gives birth to a son

Food drop, Hugo's hex, kinky caged up island sex
Dr. Arzt, blown away, back again in alt sideways!

We didn't trust the writers
They were always scheming
Was it Hurley dreaming?
We didn't trust the writers
Is it purgatory?
What a crazy story

Empty casket, no Christian, Charles Widmore back again
Bad shot, missed Locke, kidney gone, tick tock
Begin again, don't waste time, Oceanic airline
Ben's always got a plan, Charlie's gonna die again

Donkey wheel, Alex died, Richard's failed suicide
Hurley bets, plane wrecks, Claire's back, she forgets
Freighter parked off the shore, island's under Jacob's law
Sawyer's out chasing boars, I can't take it anymore!

We didn't start the Lost craze
It was always growing
Since the Pilot's showing
We didn't start the Lost craze
But when it is gone
Theories will still go on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on...